do we still date?

I’ve just heard that Multiply will be shutting down soon, which means all of our old profiles will disappear. Along with it will go photos and blog posts we may have uploaded during the pre-Facebook years. So today, I decided to go through the old site and see if there’s anything worth saving. I found a few photos I no longer had. Probably lost them to my old computer. I also found a few blog entries or lines that I’d like to preserve a little while longer. This is one of them…

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Written in 2008

Here’s a question for you all… do we still date?

I was sitting with some girlfriends the other day, and the subject of relationships came up. One of them asked the rest of us if we still believed in dating a guy before kissing them. If we got to know someone first and then become affectionate, or do we do the reverse?

As the answers came across the table, I started feeling very… old fashioned. It seems that most people prefer the drunken nights of instant make-out sessions, then if the chemistry is good, they’ll just get to know the guy later on. Kiss with no commitments first… figure out the consequences later. They found dating (dinner and a movie or sitting down to have coffee together… or any none drunken activity) to be quite awkward. And if they ever do anything that doesn’t require inebriation or mental incapacitation of some sort, they’re surrounded by friends. And it isn’t dating… it’s “hanging out.”

I have nothing against hanging out, by the way, let’s just make that clear. But why not date?

So my old fashioned answer? Yes. I STILL DATE!! In fact I am a firm believer of dating and getting to know a person before affection comes into play. I let a few good dates go by, and even then it isn’t a guarantee. I mean, I have to like the guy right?

I saw eyes roll at me. ‘An old soul’ they said.

Judging from the relationship statuses of most of these girls. The drunken nights haven’t given them lasting partnerships or friendships… just people they’re embarrassed to see, and I realised, they’re embarrassed to date!

My sister always told me to let a guy work for it. With the coming of text messages, cellphones, chatting (because you may not realise it but phone calls and visits to your house and not minding meeting your family members show levels of a guy’s commitment… I think), and the ever famous “hang out somewhere” sessions, plus the drunken nights… has it become too easy? Are we setting ourselves up for relationships that have a better chance of failing and being a memory we want to forget? Has dating become a thing of the past?

I think there is importance to dating and making a guy work a little. He’ll value you more when he finally gets to kiss you. You in turn will know who you’re kissing! That way you know whether you really want to kiss them or not! And maybe I’m mistaken, but I think that kind of a relationship has a better chance of lasting.

So let me know what you think. Do we still date? Has technology fast forwarded the process, making it too easy and therefore the need for dating is now becoming obsolete?

Let me know if there are other old fashioned, old souls out there…